Introduction > Step-by-Step Statistics > Presenting Your Data > Writing About Your Results > How Not to Write

How Not to Write Can you improve the following paragraph to make it more concise, consistent and succinct? "Terminal bud burst for Ribes nigrum 'Ben Hope' exposed to natural spring temperatures was 100% (Figure 1). An increase of 3.2°C however reduced terminal bud burst to 98% and an increase of 4.3°C decreased bud burst to 82%. Buds in the top position exposed to natural spring temperatures burst 100% of the buds. Only 90% of buds burst when exposed to an increase of 3.2°C, and 87% of buds burst when the temperature increased by 4.3°C. Only 87% of buds in the middle position burst when exposed to natural spring temperatures. An increase of 3.2°C decreased the bud burst to 76%, and an increase of 4.3°C decreased bud burst to 74%. All of the buds in the bottom section bud burst under natural spring temperature, but only 82% burst when the temperature was increased by 3.2°C and 47% when the temperature was increased by 4.3°C." Figure 1. R. nigrum ‘Ben Hope’ - relationship between spring temperature and bud position. First error bar represents bud position, second represents spring temperature, L.S.D. (P<0.05), d.f. = 12.

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